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My Everything

Our chapel in the mission house.

Here’s a reflection from Mother Teresa of Calcutta I remember reading when I was in college that encouraged me in my missionary vocation.  As I prepared for my first mission trip in 2007, I read this while praying a novena to Mother Teresa.  Here in the mission house we begin each day with community prayer, have personal prayer during the day, and end with a Night prayer.  I cannot imagine attempting the tasks without this relationship with Jesus, my Everything.  Now that I truly am living in missions day in and day out, I can find no better explanation than this:

Jesus is the Word made Flesh.

Jesus is the Bread of Life.

Jesus is the Victim offered for our sins on the Cross.

Jesus is the Sacrifice offered at the Holy Mass

For the sins of the world and mine.

Jesus is the Word – to be spoken.

Jesus is the Truth – to be told.

Jesus is the Way – to be walked.

Jesus is the Light – to be lit.

Jesus is the Life – to be lived.

Jesus is the Love – to be loved.

Jesus is the Joy – to be shared.

Jesus is the Sacrifice – to be offered.

Jesus is the Peace – to be given.

Jesus is the Bread of Life – to be eaten.

Jesus is the Hungry – to be fed.

Jesus is the Thirsty – to be satiated.

Jesus is the Naked – to be clothed.

Jesus is the Homeless – to be taken in.

Jesus is the Sick – to be healed.

Jesus is the Lonely – to be loved.

Jesus is the Unwanted – to be wanted.

Jesus is the Leper – to wash his wounds.

Jesus is the Beggar – to give him a smile.

Jesus is the Drunkard – to listen to him.

Jesus is the Retarded – to protect him.

Jesus is the Little One – to embrace him.

Jesus is the Blind – to lead him.

Jesus is the Dumb – to speak for him.

Jesus is the Crippled – to walk with him.

Jesus is the Drug addict – to befriend him.

Jesus is the Prostitute – to remove from danger and befriend.

Jesus is the Prisoner – to be visited.

Jesus is the Old – to be served.

To me –

Jesus is my God.

Jesus is my Spouse.

Jesus is my Life.

Jesus is my only Love.

Jesus is my All in All.

Jesus is my Everything.

Glorious Freedom of the Children of God

Image by Trynes via Flickr

What it look like if the whole world really were gloriously free?  What it would look like if I was really FREE, if I stopped living as if I were afraid?  What would it look like if I claimed my identity as a true daughter of God created for so much more than fear and complacency and stunted growth?

The second week of August, we had another short-term trip join us: the Young Adult Mission Trip.  It was a small group: 13 people including staff.  During the week, we visited an ejido called Agua de la Mula. As we began walking house to house, inviting the people to come to the prayer meeting, we noticed a group of five boys walking down the road behind us and asked if they wanted to come with us.  The boys agreed to go with Charlotte (my mission partner’s sister visiting for the week) and I down one path to invite the families who lived in that section of the ejido.

A shot of the whole group!

The previous day’s rain created a lot of clay mud in this ejido.  As we walked closer and closer to the other side, the boys said they wanted to show us something.  I thought to myself “This could either end very badly or this could be a great adventure.” Yet for some reason, Charlotte and I agreed to go on this adventure.  As we continued, the ground was getting muddier and muddier.  We hit huge puddles.  There was no keeping our shoes dry on this little trek through the Mexican desert.  In the middle of my conversation with one of the boys, my feet slipped out from underneath me and I landed in the clay mud in my skirt.  All I could do was laugh.  And the boys all began to laugh with me.  How I missed being able to laugh at myself!  The Prophet Isaiah tells us that when the anointed, the Messiah finally reigns,

“Then the wolf shall be a guest of the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; The calf and the young lion shall browse together, with a little child to guide them.” – Isaiah 11:6

Charlotte and I with the boys, our own personal tour guides.

After another five minutes of being led by the boys, carefully treading the mud and puddles, we reached a beautiful stream of water flowing over the rocks.  I was stunned that the boys wanted to show us such a simple, yet stunningly beautiful view.  Cardinal Ratzinger, now Pope Benedict, says:  ”Something I constantly notice is that unembarrassed joy has become rarer.  The world needs people who discover the good, who rejoice in it and thereby derive the impetus and courage to do good. Joy, then, does not break with solidarity. When it is the right kind of joy, when it is not egotistic, when it comes from the perception of the good, then it wants to communicate itself, and it gets passed on.”  The boys knew where to find the good, and wanted to share their joy with us.  Jesus is constantly telling us in the Gospels in order to enter the Kingdom of God, we must become like little children.  We have heard this message so many times and the importance of trusting in God the Father as children trust their parents.  One “revelation” the Lord showed me this week through this beauty-adventure with the five boys is that because it is easier for children to trust, their hearts are not bound by the chains of fear or torment.

Their very freedom exists inasmuch as does their unembarrassed joy.

Enjoying the unembarrassed joy of the children of God with Hector, Francisco and their friends.

On our way back to the chapel for the prayer meeting, we had to cross many large puddles.  Our “young guides” were adorable and pointed to spots for us to step as we crossed these mini-lakes.  I reached a spot where I was going to have to step in about 5-inches of water to reach the other side, and I notice one of the boys had a sizable rock/boulder in his hands.  As you can imagine, when he threw it into the puddle I was in the process of crossing, water went everywhere.  I thought he was intentionally splashing Charlotte and I.  When he looked at me with a big smile and said, “Para ti,” “For you,” I realized he dropped the rock there so we had something to step on as we crossed.  As I walked back to the chapel, my backside covered in mud, my socks and shoes entirely saturated, I had a grin from ear to ear.  It took some mud, splashes, a beautiful albeit small waterfall, and five of the sweetest boys to remind me:

“For creation awaits with eager expectation the revelation of the children of God; for creation was made subject to futility, not of its own accord but because of the one who subjected it, in hope that creation itself would be set free from slavery to corruption and share in the glorious freedom of the children of God.” – Romans 8:19-21

Ridiculous and loving it!

Fiesta Parroquial

Then he said to the host who invited him, “When you hold a lunch or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or your wealthy neighbors, in case they may invite you back and you have repayment.  Rather, when you hold a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind; blessed indeed will you be because of their inability to repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

The pool at the parish party.

On June 17th, we said goodbye to the group of seminarians and priests who had been with us for the past week, gathered our things together and headed off to the fiesta parroquial (parish picnic).  We had our towels, sunscreen, bathing suits, a few coolers of sandwiches to share.  As we pulled up to where we had heard the “pools” were, the parking lot was already quite full for 11a.m. on a Saturday morning and the place was already hoppin’.

First what struck me about this gathering is the clothing that people were wearing to swim.  If they didn’t have a suit, they just wore a normal t-shirt and jeans.  They would not let not owning a bathing suit keep them from enjoying the fun!  We set our things down under a nice shady tree, said hello to some friends, and then made our own way up to the pool.  The water felt SO refreshing!

Kids playing near the pool.

As we were preparing to eat, we noticed that they were using one gazeebo spot for everyone.  We all blessed and partook of one table, provided for by everyone.  As I stood there with melon juice dripping down my chin, basking in the wonders of relaxation, it struck me that this is how life should be, how the world should be!  Everyone brought a little, and together that made enough to feed everyone.  What if the world was more like that?  What if countries were more like that?  Instead of fighting over who has more oil or money or weapons, what if we all just shared?  I’m not saying that people should not have to pay for what they use, but what if the world were more willing to share resources with one another?

Our friends, Raul and his daughter, Cheli, hang out in the food tent.

When Jesus told the host of his dinner to invite the “poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind,” He was not talking out of some high lofty ideal for world peace (although this would certainly help matters).  He was calling this man, indeed US, to do what He Himself did/does.  Each Sunday He calls us, the sinners – the spiritually poor before the throne of God, the blind from lack of faith and wisdom, the crippled who stand before the One Creator, to partake in His feast, His very self, body, blood, soul, and divinity given freely for us.  We are invited to the feast where Heaven touches earth.  We are made one with our brothers and sisters in our worship, our adoration, our oneness with our Lord.  He shows us it is better to give than to receive.  And my Mexican brothers and sisters showed me that as well.

Faultless Fidelity

Fidelity.  I’ve been thinking about fidelity lately.  We often think about marriage when we hear that word.  But do we ever think about our fidelity to the Lord?  Or what about His faithfulness to us?  The entire story of salvation is about a God who FAITHFULLY PURSUES an UNfaithful people.  Deuteronomy 7:9 says:

“Understand, then, that the LORD, your God, is God indeed, the faithful God who keeps his merciful covenant down to the thousandth generation toward those who love him and keep his commandments.”

We are faithful not to an empty promise, but a God who promises faultless fidelity in return.  We cannot get that anywhere else.  What brought this on you might ask? Please read on to find out.

Exactly a week after saying goodbye to our friends from Philadelphia, we received a group of seminarians and priests who had been studying español in Querétaro, Mexico for the past two months.  Also, our friends Padre Gama, a priest, and Paz Perez Garcia, a beautiful woman of God, from Spain joined us here at the Casa de Misiones.  Paz and Padre Gama are both discerning a call to missions, so during their visit to Family Missions Company in Louisiana, they wanted to come live in missions with us for the week.

4 priests + 14 seminarians + 1 university professor (Cinthia) + 1 Paz from Spain + 8 full-time missionaries = a whole lot of God's kingdom building!!

Because this group was unique – we have never had four priests in one group before! – and so many of them were at least learning Spanish, we had a different schedule than normal.  In the mornings instead of going off to manual work projects, we went to four ejidos/ranchos (desert communities).  Each group went to the same ejido for four mornings.  My group went to an ejido called Por Venir.

The view on our ride out to Por Venir each day.

The Catholic chapel in Por Venir, a predominantly Jehovah's Witness rancho.

This ejido has been proselytized by Jehovah’s Witnesses.  The Jehovah’s Witnesses came into Por Venir and built an air conditioned capilla (chapel) and promised the people many material goods that caused the people to leave the Catholic Church.

We began our week by going door-to-door inviting the people to come to our prayer meetings, Masses, and talks through our the week.  One thing Jehovah’s Witnesses believe is that religion is not of God, but actually an evil.  They are content to read the Bible in their homes, but not to join themselves to the community of believers.  For example, when we offered to pray with Jehovah’s Witness families, they thanked us but informed us that they were perfectly fine.  While talking with the Jehovah’s Witnesses, they told us that they didn’t believe in Jesus as the Son of God.  They believe that Jesus is actually created by God, so really he’s just a human being.  We did not argue with them, we would just smile and simply respond that we believed that Jesus was the Son of God sent to Redeem us and only God can redeem us.  As Fr. Brett stated,

“I can’t imagine living without Jesus; He’s my everything.”

There are, however, about 12 or 13 Catholic families in this ejido.  We realized that even if we do not have the means to reach all of the Jehovah’s Witnesses with our limited time there, we could fed the Catholic families thirsting and hungering for more of their faith in the hopes that their witness of living for the Lord would touch other lives.  So, we decided to give them what we at FMC call “The 5 Point Catechism: Prayer, God’s Word, Sacraments, Community and Service.”  These are five areas in our lives that are crucial for our lives as Catholic Christians.  How often are we praying?  Are we reading God’s Word? Are we going to the Sacraments each time they’re available to us? Are we living in community? How am I serving my fellow humanity?

Fr. Brett talking with Mariana's husband.

Mariana (in the purple) takes care of the chapel.

Mariana's home.

Singing and praising the Lord with our friends of Por Venir.

Me translating Eric's talk on prayer.

Jacob's shares his testimony on his call to the priesthood.

After each talk in the morning we would celebrate Mass and then return home for our midday meal.  Our last day there we had a short talk while I colored outside with some of the children.  Fr. Brett had decided he wanted to process up and down the street with the Eucharist on our last day in order to really make the Lord’s presence known and visible for the Catholic faithful there.  Afterwards, we broke out some candy and soda and had a small party.

Processing with our Eucharistic Lord down the main street.

"Those times I recall as I pour out my soul, when I went in procession with the crowd, I went with them to the house of God, amid loud cries of thanksgiving, with the multitude keeping festival." Psalm 42:5

At the end of our time there, after all the candies had been passed out, Jesus had been adored, the Coke had been drunk, I was filled with an overwhelming thanks to the Lord for allowing me to spend this week with these people.  Despite the  adversity, these few families had decided to remain faithful to the Lord and His Church even though many of them have not been catechized to explain the deep meanings of the creed they profess.  There are even some families where one parent is Catholic and the other is Jehovah’s Witness.  I thanked them for being faithful to our Lord and prayed for a greater sense of fidelity in my own relationship with the Lord.

Whirlwind of Grace

July was an absolutely crazy, busy month for us, but it was also incredibly fun and exciting.  We said goodbye to the OLS Alabama group on June 26th early in the morning.  That evening there was an ordination here in town for a priest, Padre Efrain, who is from General Cepeda.  Bishop (Obispo) Vera came to ordain Padre Efrain and we were asked to help with the reception afterwards.  I was actually at home sick in bed with an amoeba, but my fellow mission partners went, met the Bishop and served at the reception.  On July 27th the next group arrived: St. Norbert’s from Philadelphia!  The group was mostly comprised of a youth group of high school-aged students.  They were fantastic servants, always willing to go the extra mile.

While they were here, we had a home visits team; a team that helped to build a wall; and another team helped to build a room and bathroom for an elderly man, Don Lorenzo.  Once I was on my feet again thanks to amazing mission partners and antibiotics, I visited homes with the girls.  I loved seeing their openness to interact with those we visited.

The girls and I visiting Luis Angel.

That week, we also had the tail affects of Hurricane Alex.  It rained nearly every day, which is quite unusual for this desert climate.  While it was great for the shepherds and farmers, the houses often couldn’t handle the water.  Many people came to our door asking for help with roof patching.  Some families who lived in ranchos had to come stay here in town at a shelter because their homes were either flooded or their roof collapsed.  We decided to take some paper and crayons for the children and go visit these families.

The families who were staying at a shelter due to the affects of Hurricane Alex.

At one point during the week, the wall one group had been building completely collapsed.  My mission brother Jonathan said that it was a reminder to him that the lasting work we do is not physical labor, but rather spiritual.  A regular form of our explicitly evangelistic work is visiting ranchos and putting together prayer meetings there.  There was a priest with the group who is originally from Colombia, Fr. Nelson, so one team had Mass while the other two had prayer meetings.  On our last night for rancho visits, we all went to the same rancho called Jalpa.  Due to the rain the other groups could not reach their respective ranchos.  It was an anointed evening. After Mass, some of the teens shared their testimonies and then we invited the people forward to share their testimonies.  One woman, Raquel, told us:

“Every day is a testimony because I wake up.”

My rancho team... Good lookin' bunch o' missionaries :)

Gracie and I talking with children in Jalpa.

Enjoying a meal in the dining room.

Breanne, Teresa, Sarah, Alyse, Jonathan, Brooke, Joseph, James, and I - the staff/permanent missionaries for the trip.

Getting ready for morning prayer in the living room.

While we were on our desert day that week (time of prayer and silence in the desert with the Lord), the wind was blowing very hard because of the storm.  All I can think is that we were being sent on quite a whirlwind, but a whirlwind of God’s grace and blessing for the two groups we had just received and the two more to come this summer.

We were so blessed by the crew from St. Norbert’s, Philly and their willingness to come serve the people of General Cepeda.  Hopefully we’ll see them here soon!

**Attention: The date that I add the blog does not necessarily mean that the blog event happened that day, or sometimes even that month.  For instance, it is August and I am just now getting around to writing about our busy month of July.  Sorry for my delayed updates, but I hope they bless you regardless of when you read them! ;)

Crossing the Threshold

One of our ministries here in town is to visit the home-bound, the elderly and the lonely.  We visit them in their homes with a dispensa (a bag with oil, rice, flour, beans, coffee, and other basic food staples), we share a Scripture passage with them, pray with them, and chat with them.  We try to visit about 17 or so homes every 2 weeks.  So, in the mornings after our team prayer and breakfast, we leave the house armed with our Bibles and filled with joy to visit some of the living saints.  Really many of these people have lived through things I can’t imagine with such love for and faith in the Lord.  Please enjoy the faces of some of my beloved friends here in General Cepeda.

James and I with Doña Elvirita

Doña Elvirita is a widow.  She is one of the happiest women I have ever met.   She always tells us of her hard life as a little girl in a rancho.  But then she met her Señor, as she calls her husband, Chuy.  When they were engaged, she used to keep his letters tucked in her blouse and take them out to read them.  She wakes up every morning and gives thanks to Jesus for the day, and gives Him her petitions first thing.

Luis Angel, me, and Paz playing Jenga!

This is Luis Ángel, a nine year-old boy who has a rare blood disease.  He is so sweet.  This day that we visited him and his Mom, he told us that he loves to listen to Mexican music when he feels really sick, which is often.  He has not been able to attend school regularly because he is frequently sick.  He played some tunes for us, and then we played Jenga together.  We prayed with him and his Mom before we left.  I am hoping to make him a CD of Spanish Praise and Worship soon.

Doña Elvira, her two granddaughters and I

Doña Elvira is a single Grandma taking care of her 5 grandchildren ranging from ages 15 to 2.  The baby is in the hospital in Saltillo, about an hour away.  The Doctors think the baby has cancer.  She always comes to the house asking us for Rosaries.  And not just one; usually something like 8 rosaries at a time.  We were wondering what she was doing with all these rosaries.  Then during one home visit she told us, “When I went to the hospital to visit my baby, one of the kids saw the Rosary around my neck and wanted it so I gave it to him.  Then, I brought the other Rosaries the next time I went.  We all sat down and prayed together.”  She’s a missionary to the children in the hospital!

I hope that these pictures have melted her your heart as much as these beloved of the Lord have melted mine in my short two months here!

Missing Keys

Have you ever lost your keys?  Just as you are ready to head out the door, rushing frantically, exasperated.  Been there.

Or there’s always the memorable moments when we lock ourselves out.  My roommate in college locked me out of our dorm room quite a few times while I was showering.  I returned to my room wrapped in a towel, only to search our entire dorm for a Residence Assistant and maneuver around windows that faced the outside.  No worries: my roommate and I are still great friends to this day. :)

Moments like those make me wish there would always be someone there to open the door for me, then I would not have to keep track of my house keys.  In Biblical times, there was someone appointed to guard the door of the Temple as well as the city walls and gates.  Since moving to General Cepeda, I have had the opportunity to be the “doorkeeper” frequently in the mission house.  One of the blessings and also the difficulties of the mission house in General Cepeda is door ministry.  As long as the house has been in the possession of Family Missions Company, it has always been known to the Mexican people as a place to dispense clothes, food, alms, prayer, even just a listening ear.  Yet this is also the our home.  Sometimes it is easier to leave the house to do ministry because I am choosing to love these people, but when someone comes to the door at 11 p.m. at the end of a long day seeking assistance, unfortunately love may not always be my first feeling.  My feelings are more inclined to find my body horizontal.

One day during my afternoon prayer time the Lord showed me a beautiful verse that challenged me to adjust my paradigm:

“For a day in thy courts is better than a thousand elsewhere.  I would rather be a DOORKEEPER in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness.” (Psalm 84:10)

That Thursday, we went with the short-term group from Alabama on pilgrimage to Saltillo.  I was (again) visiting with Hugo, when I heard that two of the little missionaries (Eleanor and Mary Grace – both were there with their respective families) had asked, ” Is he (meaning Hugo) the owner of the Cathedral?”  When I told Hugo this he smiled his heart-melting smile and we laughed.  Then, I distinctly heard the Lord say,

“If my house is not for the poor, then who is it for?”

Hugo and I

This experience challenged me to welcome those who come to the door as Hugo greets the visitors to the Cathedral: with a smile, as though they were family.  At the end of our visits (with or without the groups), Hugo always asks us to pray with him and for a hug from everyone.  He treats those who come to the courts of God as a true doorkeeper in the house of God.  Hugo is materially poor: he has paralysis in half of his body and is in a wheelchair and his mother has lung cancer; his only means to provide for the two of them is to beg at the door of the Cathedral.  Yet I am the poor one.  Praise the Lord that His house is large enough to accommodate all of the poor – both the physically and spiritually poor.

While I still cannot seem to keep track of my keys, maybe I don’t really need them, not if I’m on the inside already.  I think I’ll be a doorkeeper instead.

Helping at the door in November for our Medical Mission

Missionary Reflections from the Desert

Each Wednesday morning, we take time for prayer in the desert.  While we all go to the same area together, we spread out and spend time enjoying the silence, the glory of God present in Creation, and what He has to say to us in the depths of our hearts.  Because our house is itself a ministry (we have people coming to our door all hours of the day) and it’s so easy to become worn out, “desert day” is a great source of refreshment for us, to be renewed in the steadfast love of the Lord and filled with His grace so as to pour it out.

The awe-inspiring mountains of General Cepeda!

A few weeks ago while on desert day, I caught sight of one of my favorite moments in the desert here: a shepherd shepherding his flock through the canyon.  At first, I heard the far off ding of bells and was rather annoyed that this noise was interrupting my prayerful silent meditation.  as I opened my eyes and began looking for the source of this ringing, I saw the herd of goats making their way over the pitted terrain of the canyon along a cliff just opposite my resting place.  As I watched I realized that although the bells sounded quite annoying to me, their clanging was music to the shepherd’s ears.  It allowed him to keep track of where his goats were and if one of them wondered off, it made it easier to find them.

The second thing that surprised me, was the location of the shepherd in the line-up.  Maybe I’m a bit of a city girl, but either way I have never had the opportunity to observe the ritual of shepherding.  In my imagination whenever I heard the parable of the Good Shepherd, Jesus says that the sheep follow the Good Shepherd because they know his voice and that the shepherd goes in front of them (John 10:4).  I can honestly say that I HAVE heard His voice.  A year ago, I heard His call distinctly to be a missionary.  He made it very clear that this was the only path He wanted for me.  So, I followed.

This year, I have been discerning where to serve the Lord, and He has led me to Germany, Italy, Spain and Ireland and now Mexico.  I have learned that His call does not always come in the same manner.  Sometimes He does go in front of us and allows us to followed.  But as I watched this shepherd walk behind His flock, I felt the Holy Spirit reminding me that just because I can’t always SEE the shepherd in front of me does not mean that He is not there.  If the Shepherd walks behind His flock, it might be easier for Him to see the flock as an entirety; if one sheep wonders off, He can more easily see the path the sheep has chosen in order to pursue the sheep and bring it back to the flock.

How beautiful that the Shepherd wants to put Himself in a position to pursue us when we are lost.  It also requires more trust from both the Shepherd and the flock.  The Shepherd must trust the flock to go in the path He tells them and the flock must trust not only the Shepherd to guide them and pursue them, but also they must trust themselves to listen and follow the Shepherd’s voice without being able to see Him.  Often in my life, I can think of times where I have prayed,” Lord, why aren’t You leading me?  Where is Your direction?!”  Now, thanks to a shepherd and his flock in the deserts of Mexico, I can see that the Lord was guiding me the whole time.  I just have to trust Him to guide me, to pursue me when I’m lost, and I have to trust myself to listen and follow through with the path to which He leads me.

The Good Shepherd

May we all have the courage to hear, trust, and follow the Good Shepherd.

San Juan el Bautizo (St. John the Baptist)

Me preaching on the love of God the Father

James, Gallo (pronounced Guy-yo), and Jonathan leading praise and worship

We have posters with the lyrics on them so everyone can sing and praise!

Gallo and Eva.